What is a Doula?
Technically
speaking, a doula (pronounced "doo - lah") is a professional labor assistant.
But
what does that mean?
It means that as your doula,
I will provide support and encouragement in a wide variety of ways
before, during, and after the birth of your child.
What's
the difference between a doula and a midwife?
A midwife’s role
at births is to monitor both mother and baby for potential health
problems, to catch the baby, and provide immediate postpartum
care. A midwife can perform duties such as vaginal exams,
suturing, blood pressure, heart rate, and overall evaluations of the
health of the mother and baby, among other things. A midwife
has had special training to attend births as a medical professional, as
well as provide a level of emotional support.
A doula does not
catch the baby or perform any medical tasks. A doula cannot
evaluate the mother or baby for health problems. Doulas are
trained to provide a high level of emotional support. A midwife’s,
doctor’s, or nurse’s priority is the physical health of the mother and
baby, while a doula’s priority is the emotional health of the mother,
her partner, and their baby. Doulas do not replace
professional medical care.
I’m still not sure what
exactly you’ll be doing!
A doula’s role and
duties change with each birth. You define my role as your
doula. This means that you will determine,
based on your own unique and individual needs, what role I will play
at the birth of your child. In basic terms, if you’re saying to
yourself “I want someone to do X, and I may need help with Y, but
definitely not Z,” then you’re in need of a doula!
Isn’t
my husband/partner supposed to do all that? Will his/her role
be threatened if I use a doula?
I consider it a priority to
ensure that your husband or partner is free to fully participate in the
birth experience with you. Partners need support,
too! Freeing husbands and partners to truly be with the
mother and be physically and emotionally present for the birth of their
child is one of my most important roles as a doula.
I’m
a husband/partner - what does a doula do for me?
My role as
doula is to support the entire family. This means you can go
to the bathroom, grab a bite to eat, or if labor is particularly long,
even take a nap without worrying about leaving the mother laboring
alone. It means you can fully participate in the birth of
your child at whatever level you are most comfortable. If
you’d prefer to take pictures and leave things like massage up to me,
you can. If you’d prefer to be the one massaging or holding
her hand, I can take the pictures, fetch water, and deal with any other
tasks that may come up. As your doula, I tend to the details,
leaving you free to focus on what’s really important to you.
I
really want a doula at my birth, but my partner is still reluctant.
This
is probably the most common reason that women are hesitant to hire a
doula. It is natural for partners to be wary of inviting an
outsider to the birth of their child. Partners often feel
their role is to protect the mother and baby, and minimizing outsiders
is one way to do that. Oftentimes, reluctant partners will
feel more comfortable with the idea once they have met the doula and
had an opportunity to have their concerns and needs
addressed. I offer free, no-obligation consultations, and we
can meet wherever you and your partner feel most comfortable - at home,
at the coffee shop, or over dinner at a restaurant. I encourage
you to ask your most challenging questions at this consultation.
It is also notable that partners who were reluctant at first are often
the biggest supporters of doulas after benefiting from her
presence at the birth of their
child.
Wait, isn’t this what nurses do?
Many
nurses are willing and happy to do these things, but unfortunately
their other duties often interfere. A nurse’s first priority
is to monitor your physical health, and of course they are usually
helping many women at once. Nurses rarely have to time to
help with things related to comfort and support, and they are often
pleased to learn that you have hired a doula.
What
if I just want you to take pictures or videotape?
Then that’s
exactly what I’ll do! (If you don’t have a camera, we can use
mine.) We can discuss the types of pictures you’re interested in to
ensure your comfort with the level of modesty. Birth pictures
can be very touching mementos and still preserve a high level of
modesty - or, if you prefer, can record a variety of details.
I
think I want my older child to be present for the birth - can you come
just to support him/her?
Absolutely! I have attended
several births with children present and have experience in preparing
them for birth as well as providing them with support during the birth. The benefit of
hiring a doula to support your child (rather than a babysitter) is that
I will assist you in helping to prepare your child for the birth. I can
more readily answer any questions he/she may have during the birth, and anticipate any
concerns that may arise. I will willingly wait with him/her in the waiting
room if things get intense, and then return when/if the child feels
ready.
I plan to use medication; can I still benefit
from having a doula?
My role as a doula is to support you and
your partner, whether your labor and birth includes medication or other
pain coping practices. Your need for support and encouragment continues even with an epidural.
What if I decide during
labor that I want medication - will you support that?
As
your doula, I will support whatever option is right for
you. I believe in the wise and compassionate use of
medication for laboring women. As each mother has unique needs, this issue will be discussed
in detail at our prenatal visits, so that I will have a complete
understanding of your wishes and needs during labor.
My
baby will be born by cesarean; what are some ways I can benefit from
having a doula?
As your doula, I can help you and your partner
navigate the often complex process surrounding a cesarean
birth. I will hold the space for your family, helping to
remind everyone involved that birth is a deeply emotional and spiritual process, not a
medical event, even when medical care is involved. You may
need to get special permission for me stay with you during the birth,
but even if that is not possible, I can join you after the birth, while
your partner goes to the nursery with the baby, so that you are not
left unsupported in the surgery room. Breastfeeding and caring for your
baby are sometimes more challenging after a cesarean birth, and as your
doula, I will provide support and encouragement while you overcome those
challenges.
I am planning to have a homebirth - do
I still need a doula?
This depends on your preferences and on
your midwife. Some midwives work with apprentices who will fill the
role of a doula. Most midwives offer a very high level
of emotional support, regardless of whether they work alone or with
apprentices. There are benefits to hiring a doula separately,
however. You can interview several doulas to ensure the best
relationship. Also, having a doula at your homebirth ensures
that the level of emotional support will be maintained even in the
event of an emergency, during which the midwife and apprentice could be
too busy to offer much emotional support. As your doula, I
will also provide an increased level of postpartum support.
Is
doula care covered by my medical insurance?
Unfortunately,
most medical insurance does not cover doula services. You
will have to contact your insurance provider to find out for
sure. However, some people have been successful in using
their medical insurance’s appeal processes to get doula services
covered for their birth, even though the company does not generally
cover such services. I would be happy to assist in this
process should you choose to pursue it - just contact me and we can
discuss it!
It seems so expensive!
Doula
fees may seem high because it is an expense that was not
anticipated. Many couples do not consider doula services until
they are already pregnant and the birth is looming. When put in the
perspective of other costs of having a baby, however, the investment
is clearly quite practical. Most parents will spend hundreds of
dollars on baby furniture, carseats, clothing, bottles, cameras,
diapers - sometimes even a bigger car or house! Every family needs support and encouragement before, during, and after
labor and birth. Doula fees are actually quite reasonable when you break
it down. You receive four in-home, completely personalized
visits to discuss your needs and wishes for your birth and to help with
breastfeeding or other postpartum needs. Your doula is also
on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week from the time you hire her, and
she will stay with you for the duration of your labor, throughout all
hours of the day and night, no matter how long your labor
lasts. Not even your doctor will do that! The
benefits of having a doula at your birth are truly immeasurable.
My religious beliefs are very important to
me; are you the same religion as I am?
I believe that birth is
a deeply spiritual experience, and I encourage all of my clients to
explore how they can best incorporate their religious and spiritual
beliefs in their birth. I have the greatest respect for my
clients’ religious beliefs and experiences. I have found that
I am always able to find common beliefs with my clients, regardless of
the similarity or disparity of our religion or spirituality. I would be happy to discuss this in more detail with you.
Do
you have backup in case you cannot make it to the birth?
Yes,
I do have a backup doula in case of emergencies. It is
important to note, however, that the backup doula would only be called
in for a true emergency - I have several options for childcare and I
carefully arrange my schedule around my clients’ due dates so that I
can leave immediately when they call.
Doula services are
limited to ensure satisfaction and quality - please reserve as early as
possible.
What do real moms say about
doulas? Here’s a more light-hearted look; an excerpt from an
online conversation:
erbin: I
was going to have a doula with the birth of my second child, but I was
unable to because she came 8 weeks early. If I were ever to have
another child, which I'm not going to do, I'd have a doula, absolutely!
looney:
That’s why you shouldn’t wait until the last minute to hire your doula! You never know what’ll happen...
l_momma:
I
wish I'd had a doula, because I expected my husband to keep me &
our baby safe in the hospital, and he didn't (or couldn’t), and it
created much bitterness. Also, she could have kicked my mom out of the
room.
stephby: Can you hire a doula to kick your mom, even if you aren't giving birth?
looney:
Yes, but then she’s called a hit-man instead of a doula. ;)
berrylovely:
.Um,
all I can say is that my husband was useless and having someone
levelheaded and helpful might have saved me from an unnecessary
c-section. It was a miserable experience but I think it could have
been exponentially better if I’d had more knowledge, and if I’d had
someone there with some knowledge and backbone to support me.
jakki:
Well,
doulas can’t fix everything. My doctor was a total ass in spite of my
doula’s best efforts, but having her there to support me made all the
difference. At least then I didn’t feel like I was crazy or anything.
What the doctor did was horrible, but at least I wasn’t alone in coping
with it.
looney:
Exactly.
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